In defence of being ‘fake nice’.

I hate false people. I hate those that put on a fake smile and pretend to be interested in your life when they don’t really give a shit; and, whilst you chat to their glazed-over expression, are probably making a mental note to take the bins out or something.

 

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However. Recently, and somewhat hypocritically, I’ve found myself being ‘fake nice’ to a few of the people in my life. People that, for whatever reason, I just don’t seem to get along with, but still have to see regularly. And it’s made me question myself on a moral ground: is it okay to be ‘fake’ in aid of a quiet life? Plenty of my friends do it, and don’t seem to feel guilty at all; but it’s something I can’t help but dwell on.

 

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I’ve half come to the conclusion that it all boils down to a maturity thing. She (hopefully) won’t mind me sharing this, but on holiday a couple of years ago, my sister was chatted up by a Danish lad. Rather than talk to him in a polite manner, or perhaps smile sweetly and tell him she wasn’t interested, she literally turned her back on him– leaving muggins here to carry on the awkward conversation whilst he was still talking to the back of her head (bless). A few years on, and Lil’s grown out of her ‘rude’ phase: rather than getting up and walking away when someone she doesn’t like appears, she’ll sit and chat for a bit before making her excuses (although the incident with the boy my dad has nicknamed ‘The Great Dane’ was hilarious).

 

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I’ve never been as ballsy/sassy as my little sister, but there have been times when I’ve removed myself from a situation because I didn’t like a person in it. Nowadays, I just seem to get on with it, in order to spare their feelings, and I feel that this is a part of growing up. Friends drift away from each other, or introduce you to new people that you may not necessarily get along with; but being ‘fake nice’ helps to avoid awkward situations, and saves fall-outs with the people that you do genuinely care about. I’m certainly not saying that you should brown-nose people you don’t like, or be overtly/sickeningly sweet to them, because that’s just an example of someone being downright fake, not ‘fake nice’. However, the next time someone that you’re not keen on says ‘hello’, just say ‘hello’ back and flash them a smile- because if everyone in the world did this, it’d be a much less hostile place. And anything for an easy life, eh?

What are your opinions on this ‘fake niceness’?

Ta for reading,

Soph x

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2 Comments

  1. Tom
    March 9, 2016 / 8:29 pm

    I often come across as being ‘fake nice’ through being genuinely uncomfortable with one to one interaction. I look away, avoid eye contact, often look like I’m ‘taking a mental note to put the bins out’ and really I’m just wondering how stupid/unattractive/shitthereissomethingonmyfaceandthey’restaringatit; I look sat there listening to them. Y’know?

    • cockaaz
      March 11, 2016 / 9:52 pm

      Haha yes, I totally get that! But I think you can also tell the difference between when someone’s listening to you but does feel uncomfortable, and when they’re just not bothered with what you’re saying x

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